"I'm caught between a rock and a stone."

"My son has a huge appetite. He has a bottomless leg."

"It's like being a monkey with chickens on your back!"

"Are you too blind to remember?"

"Anyone could go to that person and say, 'I need a bell on the side of the elephant.'"

"He has too many fingers in the dike."

"It's like an engineer falling out of a building."

"Smooth as pie."

"I have no idea what that is. Thank goodness we didn't order three!"

"The active part is there, the proactive is not."

"We must solution this problem."

"It's good to get a taste of someone else's moccasins!"

"It's a mute point."

"This is for your FYI..."

"We definitely don't want to nail ourselves into a corner."

"I'm not the brightest bean in the hole."

"I want quality, not quantity; but lots of it."

In one five-minute exchange, a co-worker who thinks he ought to be my boss said, "supposubly," "expecially," "irregardless," "that doesn't jive," and "We have to start a brass roots movement." This was all in the context of explaining why he deserved more management authority.

"Don't look for a gift in the horse's mouth."

"Why would a pot would call the cattle black?"

Our boss was trying to give us some helpful advice by explaining that everyone has a monkey on the back and sometimes you just have to "spank your monkey."

Source:
Randall Munson's collection including contributions by Scott Adams.